thing else, prevented my dis- guise from being penetrated. Each man would not leave me to the tender mercies of the other, lest a march should be stolen; and no young girl was ever more closely chaperoned or carefully guarded than blonde "Made- moiselle Pauline" (who all the time was keeping her eyes and ears open for information and dispatching it regularly).

Then came the time when the new guns, carefully camouflaged, were moved into position on Hill 57, and I knew that I had to act quickly. Already I knew that one Captain Von Hacken was in charge of the gunners, and he was a square type of red-headed German, with a fiery nature to go with his firey head. His chief enemy (and rival) was one Captain Ellsohn, and I made a little plot.

Watching for Von Hacken to bear down on the inn, I swung myself into Captain Ellsohn's arms with an inviting smile. Quick as light, he attempted to kiss me just as Von Hacken, with a roar, burst into the room. The next minute German eti- quette and discipline went to the wind as two men fought for the love of a "woman." When at last Von Hacken was victorious, he snapped at me:

"Now, Mademoiselle, we shall at once be married."

"But your military duties?"

I gasped.

He made his first mistake, in the excitement of his "vic- tory."

"Oh, they are all right. The guns are in position" and he proceeded to discuss the new guns and their range and even the radius of their shellburst. "They will be safe for days."

On his arm I stepped out of the inn, and we sought out a priest. But I wasn't apprehen- sive. The local Priest was in on the plot and as soon as he saw us

approaching, by a pre-arranged signal he vanished and the cere- mony was held up until his return, as there was no other priest available; and Mademoiselle Pau- line, being a virtuous "girl," wanted the blessing of the church on her marriage.

I got the information over to the British lines and while Von Hacken and I waited for the Priest to come back, celebrated our "engagement,' the British offensive began. Thanks to my information, Hill 57 fell, and soon the Coq d'Or resounded to the tramping of British boots and I

was back in trousers again, the hero of the hour!

| shall never forget the captured Von Hacken's and Ell- sohn's faces when they saw my transformation! At first, incre- dulity, then, black rage swept over their faces, while I laughed delightedly at their crestfallen faces.

So ended my sacrifice for my country, and the time when I had to sacrifice my manhood to serve it. Now, I am a well- known female impersonator and it is my ambition to some day play in Berlin in the hope of seeing my erstwhile "suitors" again.

You know me wally. I'm your alter ego. You'll have to acknowledge me Sooner or later. Sure, you're putting up a good front, but how about being honest with yourself for a change? Let's go downtown, and you'll try on that lovely taffeta cocktail dress that at on

you were looking

Saturday....

ल

sharris